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Just Desserts
By LauraBF

Disclaimer:  If you think they're mine, you're sadly mistaken.  I borrowed them, hugged them, squeezed them, and called them George and then gave them back like a good girl. Seriously, Harm, Mac, and the TV series JAG belong to Donald P. Bellisario, Belisaurius Productions, Paramount Pictures, and Columbia Broadcasting Service Entertainment.

Author's Note: Ok, so I'm in a bit of a destructive mood tonight, and I've been making too many pies lately... The town is completely fictional--if one such actually exists, this is a different one. 'Sides, he needs killin'.  He always can use killin'. Oh yes, just in case you haven't guessed already, character death warning.


1423 ZULU
Dallas, Florida

Clayton Webb tailed his quarry into town.  The agent he was currently chasing had abandoned her car some time ago, forcing a foot pursuit in order not to lose her in the crowds.  Briefly, he'd seen a sign proclaiming that, in an attempt to break the world record for the largest pecan pie ever made, the town was holding a pie festival, but he ignored it in favor of running after the red head who was weaving through the crowds in front of him.

He ran up on the pie-baking platform, thinking of nothing but catching his quarry.  He was just rounding the giant crust when his foot hit a patch of corn syrup.  He slipped, flailed his arms around a bit for balance, didn't manage to keep it, and fell headfirst into the pie.

He tried to swim through the warm, sticky mass, but didn't quite manage to get out before the pie started baking.  He tried to cry out, but the wig he was wearing got plastered over his face, muffling sound.

Webb finally managed to open his mouth, but choked on the sticky pie filling.  He was found fifty-five minutes later when the finished pie was removed from the makeshift oven.  At first, all the townsfolk could see was a hand thrust out from between the pecans, but soon they found his undercooked body among the gummy morass.

Disgusted by what had happened, they threw the pie out after transporting his body to the county morgue, and tried for the world record again the next year.