Change of Heart
By: Laura Davies email@example.com
Finished: July 2002
All the usual disclaimers apply. This was in response to Pam's
challenge to write a fic with the title "Change of Heart". Thanks
to the gang on Zoom's boards, IRC, and my BRs, Helen and Fortran.
Superman flew over the fair city of Metropolis, contemplating the
events of the last few hours. He was dead. As much as
he wanted not to be, Clark Kent was dead. He had died that night
in an illegal gambling establishment, shot in the chest at point-blank
range. Lois, his partner, best friend, and love of his life had
held him while he died. A small sob escaped from Clark's throat;
Clark had died leaving only Superman. All of the hiding, the
lying, and the running out on those he most cared for had come to
naught. <It's not fair! There are too many witnesses for
me to just come back from the dead; I'll never have any semblance of a
life now.> he thought. Clark wallowed in grief for his lost
life for a moment before his thoughts turned inevitably to Lois.
She had screamed his name as the gangsters dragged him away. It
occurred to him that she must be in immense pain right now; in a matter
of moments, she had lost her best friend. He needed to go to her
and explain, but there was very little chance that the police had let
her go home right away. He reversed direction and flew to
Smallville; his parents would need reassurance that he was okay.
A few hours later, Clark flew quickly back to Metropolis; and
Lois. He was thankful that his parents agreed with his decision
to finally tell her the truth; they too felt that she deserved to
know. He flew up to the locked window and knocked, hoping that
she would let him in.
Lois sat in the darkened apartment, sobbing. She wasn't exactly sure
how she had gotten there, but it didn't matter. The only thing
that mattered was that Clark was dead and Superman failed to save
him. For a moment Lois felt a twinge of anger for Superman.
Intellectually, she knew that he couldn't be everywhere, but Clark was
supposedly his best friend...and Clark was dead. She turned
around, tears streaming down her cheeks as she heard a knock at the
window. Lois got up and walked across the room to the
window. She opened it to let the superhero in.
Superman flew in the window, sorrowfully noting Lois' red eyes and the
tearstains on her cheeks. Silently, he opened his arms and drew
her unresisting from close to him, rubbing her back and murmuring that
everything would be okay. "Shh, Lois, it's okay," he said softly
as she cried into his chest. Her tears wrung his heart, as he
knew that the person she was crying for, in reality, was still
alive. "Lois," he said quietly, "It's me, Clark; I'm still
Lois jumped back from his chest, looking at him in shock. "C-clark?"
she said hesitantly, "But you're SUPERMAN."
Clark spun quickly out of the suit and into his normal clothes.
"Lois," he said softly. "It's me, Clark."
Confusion replaced the grief on her face and began to war with
anger. "Clark Kent, no, let me use your whole name, CLARK JEROME
SUPERMAN KENT! How DARE you lie to me and let me believe that you
DIED!" Lois picked up the nearest heavy, hard, and sharp object
and hurled it at Clark's head. "You've *lied* to me for a year
and a half and then you let me think that you DIED. Clark Jerome
Kent, I hate your guts! Get out. If I never see you again
it will be far too soon!" Lois pointed toward the window, her stormy
Clark looked at Lois sorrowfully. "For what it's worth," he said
sincerely, "I'm sorry Lois. I always hated lying to you.
When you need to talk, I'll be at my place." Clark spun back into
the Suit and flew slowly out the window.
Lois stormed around her apartment, leaving a path of destruction in her
wake. She picked up a picture of herself and Clark and hurled it
against the wall. Hate for her partner and best friend consumed
her. Deep down inside she admitted that she really loved him, but
now her hate matched her love. With every fibre of her passionate
being she hated the man known as Clark Kent. She ranted and raved
of her hatred of him; he was just like every other man who had ever
walked through her life. <Why, did I ever let him get close to
me?> she wondered. <I told myself not to let him get too
close, but oh no! I had to go and develop *feelings* for that
louse!> After hours of voicing her hatred, Lois collapsed on her bed
Despite her anger, deep down she knew that in reality, she loved him;
he was as essential as air to her. Lois rubbed a tired hand
across her tearstained face and began to examine the reasons why he had
let her think that he died. The answer was obvious.
<There were too many people in the casino,> she realized. <Too
many witnesses to testify that Clyde shot him; he had to pretend to
die...and he did come to tell me that he was still alive. And,
well,> she thought back to the beginning of their partnership and
winced as she thought of some of the horrible things she had said to
him; the detrimental way she had compared him to...himself.
<He couldn't tell me in the beginning either,> she thought
slowly. <Back then, I probably would have smelled a Pulitzer
and went after it.> She still didn't know why he hadn't told
her; after all, they were best friends! <Maybe more,> a
traitorous voice whispered in the back of her head. <You love
him...you know he was lying that day in front of the Planet; he loves
Lois threw on some jeans, sneakers and one of Clark's flannel
shirts that had somehow ended up in her closet. She grabbed her
keys and hurried over to Clark's apartment-it was the only way to find
out why the rat hadn't told her the truth. She used the key he
had given her some months previously and let herself in. "Clark?"
she called softly as she turned on the light.
Clark stepped out of the bedroom, his hair tousled. He was
dressed only in a pair of sleep shorts. "Lois?" He said
softly, searching her face for signs of anger. "Are you
okay?" Lois flung herself at him and his arms automatically came
up to hold her close. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head as
he tucked her underneath his chin.
They stayed like that for a moment before she pulled away slightly so
that she could look up into his face. "Clark Jerome Kent, don't
you *ever* scare me like that again!" she said with an edge to her
voice. "Why didn't you tell me before this?"
Clark kissed her softly on the cheek before replying. "I wanted
to," he began hesitantly, "I was just waiting for the right time." He
Lois gave him a considering look before pulling his head down and
kissing him soundly on the lips. "Don't ever lie to me again
either!" she said before kissing him passionately. She swept her
tongue across his lips, requesting entrance and began to explore his
mouth. Hesitantly, he began to do the same. "I love you, Clark."
She said in between kisses. "Don't ever die on me again."
As they kissed, they moved backwards and collapsed backwards on the
couch. "I love you too, Lois." Clark said while trailing kisses
down her jaw. "I won't, I promise."
After a few minutes of reassuring each other of their continued
existence, they pulled apart slightly, gasping for air. "Clark,
we've got to figure out a way to bring you back; I categorically
*refuse* to only see you as Superman!"
Clark thought for a few minutes, his mind racing through
possibilities. He had actually been thinking how he could return
to his former life for hours. Suddenly, an idea popped into his
head. He grinned at Lois before saying, "What about Professor
Hamilton? He's responsible for bringing the gangsters back.
We could say that Superman used his equipment and notes to bring me
Lois nodded slowly. "That could work," she said simply.
"Clark, is it okay if I stay here tonight?"
"Okay, Lois," Clark said, "I'll sleep out here on the couch."
"Clark, no. Please, stay with me. Hold me tonight?"
Lois looked up at Clark imploringly. "I don't want to let you out
of my sight."
Clark closed his eyes. He had dreamed of being able to hold her
as she slept, but after their mutual declarations of love, he wasn't so
sure he could trust himself. He nodded softly; he could deny her
nothing. He knew that the timing wasn't the best, but he had
wanted to ask this question since he had first seen her. He laid
a hand along the side of her jaw caressingly. "Lois," he began
quietly, "I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I
know the timing isn't the best, but will you marry me?"
Lois searched the earnest face of the man she loved more than
life. Over the past few hours she had faced the fact that her
life just wasn't really a life without him. "Yes." She said,
leaning in for a sweet kiss.
That night, Lois slept contentedly in Clark's arms; she had finally
found the place where she belonged.
Three months later, Lois Lane sat at her desk in the Daily Planet
newsroom, contemplating her engagement ring. Everyone had
believed Clark's story of how he had come back from the dead.
Capone and his gang had been captured and Dr. Hamilton had destroyed
his research and lab. The wedding was next month.
<Someday,> Lois thought with a happy smile, <I'm going to have
to go down to the prison and thank Clyde...If he hadn't shot Clark, I'd
still be telling myself that he was only my best friend.>